Sunday, October 21, 2012

Strength

"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone. " -Audrey Hepburn


came across this quote when i was sourcing out relevant appropriate quotes for my GP essay haha.
and i think it is so absolutely wow.

this week has been terrible,
but i thought i would end the week on a positive note.
today has been lovely, with no particular reason why.
i do feel this invisible strength encompassing me, which source is still yet to be known.
i would like to think that perhaps it is my guardian angel blessing me (':
really thankful for it though, because i think it is time for me to get up on my feet again.

honestly my mood goes up and down so much that everytime i actually feel so damn happy again,
i do fear for when the next bout of sadness will strike me.
let's hope this time round it doesnt come.

this whole week has provided me with alot of opportunities to think through many things.
HAHAHA basically this year is enlightenment year la.
no matter what some may say, i do feel that i have changed alot..

i have become happier?
even though i still do get really sad sometimes, but it is a major improvement from the past.
and i have become more daring, higher, more crazy, open and all.
influences from my retarded friends i suppose(;

i have also learnt to become stronger, much much stronger, for my own sake.
and to do things for myself, if it makes me happier, then yes myself should always be the priority.
this may come across as selfish to some extents..
but i used to live for others, and right now because YOLO HAHAHA,
so oneself's happiness should always come first, except in some circumstances i guess.
do what makes you happy!
be with the people you want to hang out with, treasure every minute.

by this principle,
i have been making my choices.
i do fear offending others along the way or if they will think i am some bitch who doesnt know how to care about others,
but if i dont ever step out of the phase of wanting to please everyone,
i will miss out on the things and people who truly make me happier.

throughout this whole course,
i know my priorities will always be family, and friends who mean alot.
unfortunately studies and everything else come after that. haha.
everything i dream of means alot alot alot to me too, but i dont see how the importance of all those can possibly outweigh the importance of all these valuable people.

i owe alot to ewf in some absurd way too,
because i would never have gotten better if not for that place.
and to all the beautiful people in my life who do pray for me, and make me want to become a better person.
really <3 it (;

whatever happened this week,
i chose to keep majority of it to myself.
it is possibly rather insignificant a thing, though it hurt me alot,
but idk why it has landed me in a state of confusion on whether to think of it as important or not.
as for right now, it feels as though it has never happened,
yet there is this lingering afterthought of it.
weird, i know...
it hurts yet it doesnt, so i am beginning to question myself on my part too.

and i really really have no life, no joke.
cant rmb the last time i went for actual shopping.
with this mundane lifestyle,
i do remember to appreciate the little blessings that come my way from time to time,
and i feel over the moon over the simplest of things these days.
the world feels much more beautiful in some sense.

like watching my grandma exchange some words with the newspaper auntie makes me want to gush at their cuteness( HAHAHAHAHAHA), or how a simple meal with fun people can actually make my week just like that. or how laughing over photos of my mum's younger days and criticising her vanity can feel...pleasurable?
OKAY PERHAPS WRONG CHOICE OF WORD THERE HAHAHAH BUT CANT THINK RIGHT NOW.

the next two months are going to be really really hectic,
with everything that is coming up!
i just hope not everyday will be taken up by activities because i want my rest too );

may the week be good...

No comments:

Post a Comment