Out Of Sight

it is 7am now! dont ask me why am i even awake so early on a public holiday.
I HAVE BEEN AWAKE SINCE 4AM BY THE WAY HAHA.

because:

 1) i fell asleep at 8pm.

2) i woke up at 4 am to a text that my good friend was feeling like shit and needed me,
    and what was i doing? SLEEPING. walao i am a horrible pig.

so i felt too guilty to sleep anymore. going to stay up till she replies.
hope youre okay ):

but anyway since then i have made myself breakfast- ham & cheese omelette + nutella-peanut bread + cake!
and since i was a pig yesterday i shall go run and do cardio later :D
HOPE I GET TO GO SHOPPING WITH MY MUM LATER TOO!

okay anyway yst was awesome!
OP IS OVER YAYY.
feels quite surreal now.
but anyway after that went pastamania with part of the class.
had an awesome time<3 but was superrrr full.
then otw home, me and keren made an impromptu decision to head to parkway.

and im glad i did!
managed to purchase christmas presents.
basically i left bodyshop with this whole combination of different fragrances on me AND GLITTER SPARKLES ALL OVER MY ARM.
work of keren. HAHAHA. but we had alot of fun in there (;
poor bodyshop staff HAHA.

HIGHLIGHT OF THAT WAS WHEN KEREN HAD TO GO SHOPPING FOR HER 4 YR OLD NIECE!
OMGGGGG LITTLE KIDDIES CLOTHES ARE TOO CUTE TO TANK.

like at cotton on kids there were just this variety of clothes,
and what killed me were the tiny little pretty denim shorts they have for little girls!
too cute.
I WANT A DAUGHTER NOW.
actually so i get to choose all those tiny pretty clothes and make her wear it on her tiny cute body hehe(;
BUT I WILL LOVE HER ENDLESSLY TOO.

or else MUMMY CAN YOU GIVE ME A LITTLE SISTER NOW? HAHAHAHA.

we had scoopz icecream too, best ever.
and tried on uniqlo's ultra stretch jeans.
keren's in love with that hehe.

AND I SAW MY FUTURE PROM DRESS AT ESPIRIT!
as in, it is prettier and so much cheaper than my previous prom dress,
so it is definitely worth it man.
actually it doesnt look exactly promish but it was love at first sight T_T

and i tried on a couple of hats or those coolish type of hats dk what you call them
(NO NOT CAPS AH HAHA),
but majority of them dont fit me!
because i have a too small head ):
hats are supposed to fit your head nicely right?
but most hats just like droop down all the way to my eyebrows there. SIGH.
nvm i can still wear beanies :D

at diva i tried something like this on!

sorry i know the manequin's head is scary cause it is scaring me too.

i want this too ):

not like i will dare wear this out but still....

SHALL HEAD BACK TO WORK SOON EARN MY $$$$$ AND BUY ALL THESE THAT I WANT.

-

sunday was pw day with my group and keren's group!

took lots of pictures HAHAHA but i lazy to post. took alot yst when pw op ended too!

but same la laziness rules(;

after that was dinner with huixuan where we had an ultra longggggg htht.

feels good to say everything out honestly, thanks<3

-

MY BROTHER COMING BACK TODAY.

WHOO.

Blessings to count

this week has been really really enlightening and pleasant <3

but first off!
thursday with colette<3
i did something incorrect but i am glad i made that decision anyway because
i managed to achieve a really really happy day with that girl as a result!! :D
first, SWENSENS.
to grab the student deal HAHAHA.

shared baked rice+ coke and banana split for her and then sticky chewy chocolate for me.
wanted to grab another icecream each but the food got digested too fast!
our plan failed ):
we wanted to eat quickly then munch everything down and before the food digest properly can go for another round of icecream before feeling like we are going to explode HAHA.

anw we asked for the bill and i heard the waitor mutter something which i couldnt hear so i just went "oh okay" then when he left i turned to colette and asked " what did he say?"
colette was like "jiaxin you dont know what he said then you still say okay!!"
HAHAHA.

but anyway, we walked around and windowshopped!
col bought her headbands and we also went into espirit and relived our "20 storey house" dream.
they took away the chairs already though ):

then i went to try the white chocolate cranberry mocha at starbucks!
and proceeded to din tai fung to eat the xiao long bao.

me: "gosh colette my first time( going din tai fung) is with you eh..."
col: " you make it sound like it is very bad -.-"

HAHAHA.
okay anyway the actual noob story begins when we enter din tai fung. cause we suck with chinese just like that.

at the entrance:

me and col: " er... liang3 ge4"
din tai fung waitress: " liang3 wei4?"

OUR CHINESE FAIL MAX!

Then once at our allocated seat, cause we were only ordering one dish,
we TRIED to look at the menu longer to make it less embarrassing HAHAHA.

but anyway after that they seved us tea.
we were like um we didnt order any?
plus we were charged $1 for it! damn.
we kinda raised our hands for damn long trying to get them to see us so we can ask about it.
but their backs remained facing us!
we ended up giving up and quietly deduced that this was their secret ploy so we will just drink the damn tea.
sigh.

ok next they brought us this thingy and said it was for our dai4 zi3.
and as usual we just went "okayy" like we totally understand but no!
after that waitress who brought us the thingy left,
we were like "wth is dai zi?! is it referring to our bags?"
so we spent the next minute or so hovering our hands over and touching our bags and staring at each other,
because imagine if that thingy wasnt for bags!
IT WOULD BE SO EMBARRASSING HAHAHA.
and ya all that time while we were doing that the waitresses stared at us like we were weirdos(;

and fml moment when life decides to play a prank on you by making you meet someone who knows you should be somewhere but youre not there! HAHA.
but anyway this time when we asked for the bill,
it was colette's turn to say " what did she say?" (;

anw this is a picture of our xiao long bao.

and the two teas that we were um...forced on HAHAHA.

is it like a come-with-everything tea anyway??

curious.

had lots lots lots truckloads of fun that day though!
thanks colette<3

-

friday night spent with filz, col and kris!
the rest couldnt make it ):
met colette first and debated about wings.
HAHAHA.
i have half a wing now :D
dinner at macs then walked around.
lots of fun at smiggle though we were all being retarded HAHA.
love these times(':

-

my bro over at taiwan now for an exchange programme!
please keep safe and be careful...
dont forget to have a blast of fun there too<3
after he is back, it will be time for me to go!
damn. parents being rather worried esp since there is a snow storm currently in beijing.
up to the school now i guess!

-

i always thought like... everything happens for a reason.
for every pain, suffering, tear and all,
as bad as it may seem,
i do believe there is a reason.
it may be as though you dont deserve such a thing,
but eventually you will get to know why.

i believe there is a reason to you, to this, to everything so far.
it kind of dawned upon me recently,
that how i have wanted to become a better person, after meeting you, coupled with the influence of my cherished ones.
it wasnt instantenous, but gradually.
my family was the final strike i guess,
which really made me want to...change.

i will always only remember you for the good and happy times.
for the person you are now.
you have done so amazingly well in my life,
giving me direction, hope and grace,
i have learnt extremely alot from you.
for that, i cant thank you enough (':

of course, i do have my badass moments.
sometimes i just feel it overtake me and i cant really switch back.
at least i dont sink in that deep anymore when i just wanted to go against every single shit.
i presume it will always remain a part of me (;
hahaha that for sure.
but for now i have got my priorities set straight.

counting my blessings recently, and feeling extremely extremely grateful this week.
i dont  know why, but just incredibly happy with what i have got.
just sudden bouts of bliss.

a beautiful home to live in, food and water to consume everyday, an education, a healthy body, life.
the basic criterias every human being deserve.
with that i am already very lucky.

and not only that, i am further blessed with: amazing friends, amongst them consisting of really closed ones who spoil me with their love, words and actions. honestly, every time i feel down, you guys make everything better. maybe this is so like over-repeated and all but, i really do mean it. and every time i am happy, you guys make me even happier, in fact perhaps because i am happy due to you all in the first place. i know not everyone gets blessed with such friends, and i am lucky enough to still continue getting to meet wonderful people even till now.

supportive parents- who go every inch of the way just to help me with everything i need, even helping me study so that they will know how to guide me. they are so understanding, and honestly i dont know how did they tolerate the past me. i was horrible. even when everything goes wrong, they still see the good in the situation and stay on my side unwavering, because they believe in me that much. they give me my freedom, provide me my choices, and never interfere when they should not. i can tell them all my rubbish, and they will laugh and be retarded with me (; because i can never be as good a parent, HAHAHA, so thank youu.

so treasure all the little things in life from now on!
certainly not everything is smoothsailing or perfect or happy.
no one has the best of both worlds.
but if you concentrate more on the good than the bad,
everything taken for granted so far, can actually make you realise how immensely fortunate you are.
count your blessings(:

oh damn wow i deserve a pat on the head now someone come come HAHA.

Overboard

day when daphne and i went for swensens icecream buffet<3

so nice seeing her after such a long time,

had a lovely catchup session.

-

cupcake kristin baked.

that girl travelled personally down to our schools to pass us the cupcake, a lovely letter( with an attempt of a cute unicorn drawing on it HAHA) and reese peanut butter chocolate each.

aww<3 it was a surprise gift for us because we have been going through tough times.

that angel is too sweet!(':

-

friday: colette, nahshon and justin came over!

actually we were supposed to bake..

but we only started around...8? HAHAHA.

long story.

and by "we" who started baking,

i meant me and colette.

the guys were busy halo-ing with my bro.

NVM GIRL POWER<3

anw there was this moment whereby something dropped on the table while we were settling the ingredients.

then, in the split second between col picking up the something and putting it back into the mixing bowl,

i was like " COLETTE NO"

HAHAHAHA.

but it was too late.

so we all just -silence- and burst into laughter.

col: " how you know i was going to throw it back in?!"

me: " i know you for 5 years you think i wont know what's on your mind?!"

PROUD CHEFS WITH OUR BEFORE PRODUCT!

and the guys stopped halo-ing to come step as the chefs of the crumble.

wts. look at how i am being pushed to the back and them taking over full force!!

>:(

so i demanded another photo.

then they step sternface to act as the master chefs.

end product!

anyway while following the recipe i kinda read it wrongly so it resulted in a step being done wrongly.

i know la it is normal for this to happen to me -.-

and after that colette and i kinda comforted ourselves thinking it wont matter la you know..

so i went " i have a bad feeling about this"

AND FML I WAS RIGHT.

FROM ON TOP THE CRUMBLE LOOKS GOOD RIGHT.

but walao, at the bottom it is just like......

WATERY BROWN SHIT.

(inside joke)

HAHAHAHAH BUT IT REALLY TURNED OUT LIKE BROWN SHIT

we should nv curse ourselves before baking ):

throughout the whole process me and colette were just like,

omg how did we manage to scrap through all the home econs practicals and science spas that we had.

cause we were partners ( she is index 33 im 34 )

i wonder how sometimes too.

i mean our lower sec selves are alot alot alot worser and blurer than how we are now.

so.... you get my drift HAHA.

but i had lots of fun thanks everyone <3

i forgive the ganging up of nahshon justin and my brother to bully and suan me.

-

i really like this kind of traditional icecream hehe.

it is cheap + yummy!

anw i realised the shadown kind of looks like a heart!

SO COOL RIGHT.

-

i always say things, that i end up not doing.

it is probably time that i make good my words.

and by now, i suppose i should know what i deserve, what i should feel, and what is probably best for me.

and everything now is the opposite of everything that should be.

allowing all this to affect me in the most absurd of ways,

is really intolerable.

it is as though im taking a mood rollercoaster,

unpredictable, yet controlled by external factors.

it gets tiring, really tiring.

caring so much, yet acting as though i do not care.

being so close, yet so far.

this should stop already.

i just cant control myself.

i have so much more in life to rejoice over,

so what is this seriously?

on the other hand,

i do get too wild and uncontrollable at times.

then my insensitivity and unawareness strikes big time.

i should take myself in better control in future..

i go overboard and too much sometimes, sigh.

then i end up feeling bad and guilty ):

As usual

i am getting bored.
i am not even damn excited anymore.
am i really that horrible?
to be the kind of person who will just lose interest after getting what i wanted.